[Public]

[inthistwilight]

im going away in a few days time
and i honestly dont think ill come back

i think ill die
 
but i think im okay with this.

Comments

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

but

but i was going to

not again.

[knowmycall.livejournal.com]

[Fletcher stares at Dylan's handwriting for a solid minute before the neurons in his brain fire in the right pattern and he understands what he's reading.

He swallows before writing his reply.]

Where are you going, Dylan?

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

[There's a long pause. She's sorry, she really is. She was planning on saying something, but she wanted to at least make it private enough. She'd been rehearsing it.

And now she's worried. She needs to do this. Alone.]


to go and see a man.

[knowmycall.livejournal.com]

about a horse?

And I'm guessing this man is dangerous, since you think you might [he hesitates] die.

Can I say that I'm not okay with that?

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

i wish there was a horsie.

yes.

[Another long pause.]

i thought you wouldnt be
its okay

im sorry.

and now this seems like a goodbye and i dont want it to be a goodbye but i think it might be.

[knowmycall.livejournal.com]

This is not a goodbye. I don't do goodbyes over paper.

Can I see you?

[shellbreaking.livejournal.com]

What? No.

Dying's not okay.

It's not an okay with this okay

It's not an okay thing. What are you

No,

No dying. Please. That happens too much

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

im sorry :(

maybe i wont maybe ill be okay.

i just

i dont know.

dying might happen but im okay with it

i cant help it.

[shellbreaking.livejournal.com]

no but that's not

that's not

you can't die

it's not okay

people die all the time and there's never any choice and I

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

but isnt it better if i do have a choice?

im doing something i want to do
something i wanted to do for long long time

so i choose to do it
i choose and okay with the fact i might die.

still sad. but isnt it better?

[shellbreaking.livejournal.com]

I don't know

I don't

I don't like death

it doesn't feel better

[shellbreaking.livejournal.com]

good luck though

I mean I hope you don't yeah.

[allthesigns.livejournal.com]

[WAUGH. Her chest clenches painfully when she reads this, and she should understand. As an angel of death, she should understand, but it's always harder when it's someone she knows and cares about.]

Why do you think you're going to die?

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

[She's so sorry, Sarah. She really is. She doesn't want you to see this. She planned on lying. Because to Dylan, sometimes lying is better than hurting people the few people you care actually about.]

because it might happen.
i dont know but it might

[Locked]

i have to go and kill someone
very very important to me.

theres always a risk
but this even more so. i think.

[allthesigns.livejournal.com]

[She would rather know. It isn't in her to judge someone for circumstances she doesn't understand. She would rather know than find she just never sees Dylan again, wondering what could've happened.]

Not many people are okay with it. There's nothing to fear when it comes to death. It comes when it's supposed to. There's a time for everyone to die, but I still hope it's not yours.

[Locked]

I'm guessing this person you have to kill did something to you.

And you have to go alone? No one can go with you?

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

[She probably hadn't thought of that. She doesn't think of a lot of things, as much as she tries. She wouldn't have wanted her to worry.]

i dont get why i am. i bring death to so many people but i still dont understand it. but i just im okay.

i hope so too.
but if it is
then thats okay too.

[Locked]

he did.
he killed my mom. long time ago.

i dont want anyone else to get hurt. no one else should go through what i went through. what i saw. no one should see that.

it would be for the best

[allthesigns.livejournal.com]

[Fwah, Dylan. Sarah would've worried anyway. It's a helpless thing when you care. ;;]

I don't know if I can explain it. Everything begins and everything ends. Nothing lasts forever. It hurts for the living but death is kind of like an endless warm dream.

I'd miss you.
I'd really miss you.
I would want more for you than
Than that. What if it's not okay? What if there's another way?

[Locked]

I know what it's like to feel anger that can consume you.
I know what it's like to want to get revenge on people that kill those you love, but will it really make you feel better?

You end up hurt, though. You end up hurt and that matters.

I'm sure there's people that would agree it's not.

[crashiscoming.livejournal.com]

goin' go

don't

goin' never helps

ever ever ever

run, run here

stay

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

going is good though
going will make things right.

i ran too long.

[crashiscoming.livejournal.com]

can run forever if you don't look back

pillars of salt, pillars of salt

lot's wife lotsa wife lose a wife

pillars of salt

can run forever

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

cant.
cant run forever.
cant not look back

itll always be there.

[crashiscoming.livejournal.com]

Can.

if wanna

but if not

goin' don't fix nothin', sir. 'member that.

[Private]

[silentmovielife.livejournal.com]

Be careful? You might be okay with it, but it looks like you've already been told other people aren't. It sounds like you're doing something important, so I guess there's no telling you that you shouldn't, but be careful.

[Private]

[fellfrommyheart.livejournal.com]

i cant promise anything
but ill try

see you hopefully
if i get back.

[Private]

[silentmovielife.livejournal.com]

That's something. Thanks.

Yeah. I'll come see you when you do. If that's okay.